MY CHILD POOPS IN PUBLIC.

We have all had those moments. You know, those moments when you  literally cannot hold it any longer and you do this kind of awkward slow sprint to the restroom because you just can’t pee your pants twice in one year kind of thing. It would just be too embarrassing.

Babes in diapers are so lucky and they have no idea. They totally take it for granted. I mean my daughter always has to whine when I change her diaper. They can literally go anywhere and no one will ever know ( at least until the stink hits.)

Except for my daughter of course. Lolo has an entire pooping process. And trust me it is not cute.

I assume it all started when I started working out around her. I’d do squats here and there and I guess she thought it was the perfect position for a good poop. As she started pulling herself onto random pieces of furniture I realized she would do squats. I mean here I am sitting on my ass watching an 8 month old do squats ( OK, maybe like 5-6 or but still..)

Anyway, I realized later on that this was no work out. This was my daughters first step in her pooping process.

Step 1: Check out the surroundings.

Step 2: Find an object and focus (hard.)

Step 3: Squat (4-10X.)

Step 4: Hold squat, stare hard, & groan (loudly.)

And just like that, process complete…

Oh wait! Step 5: “Mama, Mama, Mama.”

The best part of this pooping process is that it NEVER occurs at home. I mean literally. We could be at the grocery store and she will stand up in the cart and initiate the process ( Yes, I am a bad mom and hardly buckle her down.) We could be in the the play area at Chic-fil-a and she will be standing at the bottom of the slide and BAM!

I have to give her props for having awesome bowel movements but it would be nice if she could time them more conveniently, right?

These are just a few of her ‘focusing’ faces…

 

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